Arglebargle. The week is nearly finished!

Yesterday I went and watched Breaking Dawn with a few friends. I enjoyed it as much as I'd thought I would... which meant that it wasn't entirely horrible. I'd absolutely hated the book and threw it across the room a few times while I was in the process of reading it, fortunately the movie didn't pain me quite as much. A few rolled eyes here and there, a squirm when the baby's name was revealed. In the end it was tolerable. If I'm honest, I'm a rom-com junkie, so I will probably watch the movie another 2 or 3 times when it comes out on dvd. But only because I have to! :-P

I kind of feel like I'm marking time until the holidays kick in when I'm at work, which is terrible since there are still 3 weeks left! Today wasn't so bad though. I only had a couple of clients, but I actually saw some amazing progress with a little boy I've been tearing my hair out over for the last 2 months. Win! I also got to watch a couple of the other girls at work give a workshop on fussy feeders which was really great. The two of them are fabulous presenters, which makes me wonder how painful my workshops are... I like the fridge handout I got from them too. FOOD IS FUN! PLAY! TOUCH! SMELL! TASTE! I'm kind of tempted to actually put it on my fridge as a reminder to eat and enjoy it.

The most exciting thing to happen today though? I received my photobook of pictures from my trip overseas!! It looks pretty amazing and I am SO happy with it. I had been excited all week to receive it, and then got absolutely terrified as I drove home from work to pick it up. What if I looked really fat in all of the pictures? What if they'd only looked good in small ipad screen size? Fortunately, I like the vast majority, excluding perhaps the front cover where my double chin is painfully apparent. It was okay in the slightly smaller size inside the book... but in A4 size it is just a little bit much. I'm also wondering if it looks a wee bit self absorbed to have a book with me on the front cover, particularly since I'd originally wanted it to be a coffee table book. You know what though? It's my book and I could do whatever I wanted with it. Why shouldn't I be on the front cover? Anyway, I got a little distracted from the point there. I am really proud of it and I can't wait to show it off to everyone I know!

Sorry for the boring ramble that this post was. Just felt like talking to someone, even if they're just a disembodied internet someone, or possibly noone at all.

Time to make a quick exit.

Can I tell you a secret?

I can't stop turning this idea over in my mind and I'm not sure if it's just a mental 'I am worth something' post break-up dream or if it's something that I want to do.

I really want to go back to uni and study medicine.

In lots of ways it seems crazy... I won't be able to take the GAMSAT next year because it's really not enough prep time for someone who has no exposure to chemistry or biology. I'll have to find some text books and teach myself the subjects, and then go over the rest of the stuff that's involved. Some of it sounded like it would have been easy for me back in high school, but now the idea of writing essays seems somewhat intimidating. And then there's the money... no income for four years! That will be hard to go back to :( But... when I think about it I get that little excited thrill of the unknown. I already know I love helping people and I'm pretty sure I would make a great GP or paediatrician. Or if I were really ambitious I could go into neuro stuff, it's so fascinating.

I don't know, it seems crazy and stupid... but I just can't stop thinking about it.

Small Things Barely Worth Mentioning

I'm probably not actually back. But I'm back to not eating and spending hours reading blogs and immersing myself in the world of make-believe and it is keeping me sane.

I don't really want to say what happened. My only reason to eat went away and now it's ok again?

I find it so sad that this is the truth. I'd actually thought I'd gotten better, but I've come to the realisation that I can eat for other people but I can't eat for me. I am strangely okay with this, probably because I have been running on empty for a week now and I still can't look at food. You've got to love what a broken heart can do for an eating disorder. 

On the other hand, despite the small matter of the broken heart, I feel amazing. I've been overseas and had my world infinitely expanded. I feel like I can do anything I want, I just need to work out exactly what that will be.

It's exciting and the world is full of possibilities...